The Looney Tunes Show Fan Mail Ep. 9

Opening
Daffy: (in a bad imitation of Count Dracula) Hello, hello, hello, it is I, your host, Daffy Duck! (laughs evilly)

Bugs: Actually, the correct term is 'co-host', since I'm a host too.

Daffy: (in normal voice) Whatever. Now start asking questions, people!! (in Dracula voice) Or I vill drrrink your vlood! Mwahaha.

Question #1
Bugs: So here's a question asked by Doctor Bugs: "Road Runner, what were your first ENGLISH words?"

Road Runner: Meep meep!

Bugs: Uh, no, he meant English words.

Road Runner: (sounding annoyed) Meep meep!

Daffy: C'mon, road runner, say something besides 'meep'!

Road Runner: (in a deep, somewhat scary voice) Meep. Meep.

Daffy: Never mind...

Question #2
Daffy: Here's one from some guy named 'Colonel Brony', a.k.a. DisneyCartoonKing557: "Bugs, why are you so obsessed with doctors?"

Bugs: Well, they're intelligent, they're helpful, and they encourage you to eat carrots. Surely someone who makes you eat carrots can't be evil, right? (nudges Daffy)

Daffy: Yep. But don't call me Shirley.

Question #3
Porky: D-D-DisneyCartoonKing557 a-asked "To anyone: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" G-g-g-gosh, I w-went a lot of tr-trouble saying that.

Bugs: That's easy, Doc. A real no-brainer. A woodchuck would chuck so much wood he wouldn't know how much wood he chucked.

Daffy: A woodchuck would chuck.. ch-chuck.. could chuck woodchuck wood... (groans) Stupid tongue twisters!!

Question #4
Daffy: Mrjoshbumstead asked: "Hey Bugs! Do you withat Homer Simpson was your father? If not, then why?"

Bugs: I am going to assume 'withat' is a typo of 'want'. If so, then no, I don't want him to be my father. I'm a rabbit. He's a human being. How can he be my dad? Besides, he eats donuts and beer all the time, and smells like a sewer.

Homer Simpson: No, Bugs... I am your father.

Bugs: NO!!!!!

Bart Simpson: No, you're MY father, unfortunately for me. C'mon, Dad, you must be drunk again. (leads Homer out of the room)

Daffy: Okay.. what was that all about?

Question #5
Bugs: Colonel Brony asked: "Michigan, why do you only sing in front of The Construction-Worker?"

Michigan J. Frog: (in a singsong voice) To teach him a lesson. I knew from the start he was going to use me for money the moment he saw me singing and dancing.

Question #6
Bugs: Professor Duck asked: "Porky, Why did you wear pants only in the cartoon, 'Tick Tock Tuckered'?"

Porky: W-well, me and D-Daffy were going to w-w-work, and I f-f-figured that the b-boss wouldn't l-like it if he saw me g-g-g-goin' around, not wearing any p-pants.

Daffy: Then how come you don't wear any pants at your new job?

Porky: The b-boss doesn't see me oft-often. And I don't see YOU wearing any pants! At least I wear something!

Daffy: I AM wearing something. It's called "feathers".

Question #7
Bugs: Colonel Brony asked: "Granny, at the age of 95, is June Foray older or younger than you?"

Granny: Why, we're exactly the same age!

Daffy: Boy, you're OLD!

Granny: (scoffs) You should see my parents. They're 130 and still alive!

Daffy: (faints)

Question #8
Bugs: Josh asked: "Wile E. Coyote, why is it you use your money to by Acme props instead of buying cooked Road Runner at a butcher shop?"

Wile E. Coyote [holds up sign]: "Dude, I've been buying Acme stuff for decades, I'm not going to switch to butcher shops in two seconds. Besides, I want to eat 'em fresh."

Question #9
Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Rarityfan: 'Hubie and Bertie, how come you haven't appeared in a single cartoon since the 1950's?'"

Hubie: "Eh, some coyote-and-roadrunner duo came along and took the spotlight from us. Ain't that right, Boit?"

Bertie: "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure."

Bugs: "Funny you should say that; Daffy feels the very same way about me! [Giggle]"

Daffy: "Thath it; where's the director? I want a different thcreen partner."

Crusher: "You could be with me. [Snarls menacingly]"

Daffy: "[Whimpers fearfully] I change my mind."

Question #10
Bugs: "This question was asked by MrJoshbumstead: 'Bugs, are you and Daffy scared of Slender Man?'"

Daffy: "[Scoff] Thlender Man isn't real."

[Slender Man walks into the room behind Daffy]

[Daffy screams and runs]

Slender Man: "What's his problem?"

Bugs: "Everything."

Question #11
Daffy: "Thith question was athked by Doctor Bugs: 'Taz, what is your favorite food?'"

Taz: "Taz like rabbits!"

Bugs: "No, you don't. Tasmanian devils like ducks, not rabbits."

Taz: "Ok!" [Turns into tornado; chases Daffy]

Porky: "Th-th-that's all, folks!"

Voice Cast

 * Teleram as Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, The Crusher
 * Doctor Bugs as Bugs Bunny, Hubie
 * MrJoshbumstead as The Road-Runner, Bart Simpson
 * Tanner Schnabel as Michigan J. Frog, Slender Man, The Tasmanian Devil
 * KitKat1894 as Granny
 * Thomas D. Coyote as Bertie, Homer Simpson